Friday, August 04, 2017

Wide World Of Unfortunate Celebrity Print Ads



Today's post should be titled "extremely unconvincing celebrity ads," starting with none other than Orson Welles.



On the other hand, we at Way Too Damn Lazy To Write A Blog have no problem whatsoever imagining Benny Hill (in a print campaign at least approximating truth in advertising) downing a shot of Black and White blended whiskey - or two or three - very likely without the rocks.



Can one envision sitting down with Lucy and Ethel - Merman that is - to quaff some Carling's Red Cap Ale? No. . . not really. Swilling cases of Canadian ale with Bob & Doug McKenzie? Yes, absolutely! Lucy and Merman? Nope.



Then again, Ethel might meet J. Edgar Hoover and Clyde Tolson for a nightcap or two later.



Olivia De Havilland for Royal Crown Cola? Yes, it happened. Joan Fontaine no doubt must have been doing print ads for Coca Cola!



The educated guess is that, of the Marx brothers, Harpo and Chico were much more likely than Groucho to invite you over for a beer. Come to think of it, even Zeppo and Gummo might be more convivial and up for getting together over a couple of brews than the brooding Groucho.



After way too many viewings of Fritz Lang's mucho corrosive noir Scarlet Street, it's easier to imagine meeting tough guy Dan Duryea to get pistol-whipped, beaten and robbed than to shoot the breeze while enjoying a refreshing Blatz Beer!



To close today's post, wrap that consciousness around the concept of Ava Gardner drinking . . . milk???



The closest Ava and Sinatra ever got to milk was (maybe) English "milk stout." That dynamic duo was more interested in Crown Royal by the case! Or rum and Coca-Cola.


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